Another Jack Schaap victim from First Baptist Hammond speaks out - where is David Gibbs?

http://www.facebook.com/groups/210248275769396/

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My name is ***** ***** (formerly ***** ***********) . I graduated from HAC in 1997. Up until 2009, my husband *** and I worked for FBC of Hammond. My husband was the ******** and *********** Administrator and I was the Marketing Director for ********* *********, both of us worked directly for Jack Schaap.

I have been silent and have been very selective of who I have shared my story with. I am choosing to speak out today because I have taken every step with grace and propriety to speak to those in leadership at FBC and they have chosen to continue to shun and ignore me despite a phone call and gracious letter. I have not been part of any open groups because I have been afraid of the condemnation and scrutiny that those who lurk and read here can aim at me. I am not bitter, I have forgiven Jack Schaap and there are many people at FBC I dearly love.

 I am deeply wounded and I pray by sharing what I am about to share that those, who like me, have been abused by Jack Schaap or the system of FBC would know that they are not alone and that there is no shame in their story. I am tired of carrying SHAME that does not belong to me to bear. I lost a dear friend because I was outraged that she shared my story because I was filled with fear and shame- I was outraged because those who are victims within the IFB system are consistently shamed, vilified and are made to feel like they are to blame for the abuse. They are never given a voice or an ear. They have not been protected but re-victimized when they have tried to say, “NO” to the abuse.

Over 7 years ago my husband and I had deep struggles in our marriage. We both had been unfaithful to each other and my husband reached out to Jack Schaap for help when I filed for divorce. (My story is not unfamiliar- I shared it openly at the ** *********** a few years ago.) Schaap took a great interest in us, we were his “trophy couple.” ( See the introduction to my book, “ When Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees” from Jack Schaap) Schaap began to regularly counsel us and almost immediately hired me on staff to work with his wife. 

During this time Jack Schaap met with me to help with my marriage. He met with me often and for long periods of times. I had one meeting that lasted over 2 and a half hours. I was alone with him. He called my house and at one point berated and raged at me and then would tell me of his love. During those counseling sessions he told me that “This KJV debate means NOTHING to me compared to what it would do to me if I lost you.” With tears in his eyes He told me of our connection and that he loved me. 

Many times during his “counseling” my marriage he would ask me vile, sexually charged questions, he would make statements of what he would ( sexually) “do to me” if he was my husband and what my husband should “ do to me”. ( Sexually speaking) His constant preoccupation with highly charged sexual innuendo and questions was violating. I cannot speak and share many of those things as they are not appropriate to share. His talk always made me feel dirty and confused. I asked him and even wrote him to turn his topics onto my marriage and not my sex life, to bring my husband into our conversations when there were times when we counseled together.

 At one point when I told him I could no longer attend FBC and work for him he refused my letter of resignation and told me to meet with him. I told him ‘ No” and he said, “NO ONE says NO to Jack Schaap!” I received constant calls from his secretary asking me to meet with him and every time I gave the phone to my husband so he could tell Jack “NO.”

Things escalated and we went to Iowa to counsel with Marvin Smith. Marvin Smith heard about what Jack was doing in our meetings and told me to get out of there ASAP. He told me what Schaap was doing was wrong, he was grooming me. Within one month we sold our house, quit our jobs and moved to Iowa. When *** gave Schaap his resignation, Schaap pulled him into his office and berated, swore and had a tirade in front of *** for an hour. All Ken said was, “Well, thank you.”

When we left, *** was escorted out of his office like a criminal and we understood that we were not welcome back.

A few weeks after we left, rumors began to circulate that I was having an affair with him. Jack Schaap had a staff meeting and from the pieces I have gathered. (He told his staff that if this information got out they could be fired) he vilified, shared personal information about me, discredited me to the staff and asked them to shun me. He also sent a 4 page letter to Marvin Smith doing the same. I asked for the said letter from Marvin Smith recently and he said he threw away the letter because it wasn't "his battle to fight". (This deeply hurt me because he could have confronted Jack and fought for my reputation that Schaap smeared)

When we fled from Jack Schaap, we left behind the only friends we had, a church that was all we knew and jobs that we enjoyed. I received word from several people around the country that I was a "reproach" to them. 
We have spent the last 3 years having to pick up the pieces. I cannot begin to tell you the struggle and the devastation. We gave up everything to get away from his abuse.. 

When this all broke loose I called Terry Duff on Monday night to speak to him. He was in a meeting but said, "He knew all about me". I sent Terry, Eddie Lapina and Rick Sparks the following letter...( It explains what transpired ...)

Dear Mr. Lapina, Mr. Sparks and Mr. Duff, 

On Monday evening I called Terry Duff on his cell phone and at the time he was in a meeting. He told me he would have someone call me back and I asked if he would personally call me back as I trusted him. He had Rick Sparks call me back. I love you Rick Sparks and I believe in you- Ken and I have known you for over 20 years,but that Wednesday conversation was one of the most painful conversations I have ever had. 

You asked how you could help me. I cannot begin to tell you the devastation and pain that Jack Schaap has caused me and my family. We trusted him to counsel us and in return he violated that trust in a most vile way. We had to move 2 states away and start a new life over just to remove ourselves from his harm. We left quietly and ethically but we were still vilified and shunned when we left. For 3 years I have had to build our life back from the ruins. How can you help me and other victims?

1. You can give us the dignity of being heard and believed.

2. You can validate our stories and have empathy for the attack on us when we tried to let those in authority know what was going on.

3. You can treat the victims with dignity instead of a legal liability to your church. ("Julie, Fill out a statement so FBC cannot get sued")

4. You can with humility, true compassion and a repentant heart apologize in lieu of Jack Schaap for the abuse and destruction that you allowed to continue in your church.

5. You can promise to never vilify, shun or not hear someone when they come forward with stories of abuse in leadership.

6. You can encourage your congregation to question authority and not give blind allegiance to any man or institution but lift up allegiance to Christ alone.

Gentleman, I am devastated. I have not eaten or slept since this scandal broke. A deep and painful wound has been ripped open and all I was hoping for was to be heard and validated and instead I was passed off to your delegated person. Please treat us who have been hurt with dignity. I simply needed to be heard and validated by someone who is in a position of leadership. I needed to know you hear my intense grief and that you care for those destroyed by this man. My life will never be the same, I have forgiven Jack Schaap but part of my healing is removing the shame. Please help me to not feel like I am a shame to FBC because I was taken advantage by a predatory man. Please.

In Christ,
***** *****